I Woke to the Most Hilarious Experience

Last night I read an article that made me laugh so hard, Kool-Aid came out my nose. Which was weird because I was drinking gin.

(BTW, I have to tell you, I discovered a new one: It’s called Leopold’s Navy Strength, and it might be the best stuff I’ve ever tasted. For you to agree, you’ll need to have swilled airplane fuel and survived. Assuming that’s the case, add a hint of coriander and you have yourself a cocktail.)

The article, hilariously, is about vaginas. Quite reasonably I quoted the author, Lindy West, with the following headline: “Turns Out, the Color of Your Vagina is Gross and Everyone Hates It.” Which got my team thinking the site had been hacked or I had lost my mind.

As a precaution, they yanked the post and shut down my account. On one hand, that makes me happy. I have a team and they watch out for me. On the other hand, I was a little perplexed. After all, I, the owner of my site, had lost access to my site. Let that be a lesson, friends: Mention the word “vagina” and you may in fact lose your worldly possessions.

Which got me thinking: If my valued team (whom I love) thought this article was too racy or off-topic, maybe I ought not to post it. And then I thought, no, I should:

Your Vagina Isn’t Just Too Big, Too Floppy, and Too Hairy—It’s Also Too Brown.

BTW, I learned about this from my one-time coauthor Katrin Eismann. Thanks, Katrin. You almost got me fired from the people who work for me.

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  • She looks so sad

    I know this is probably a spam post but it was funny. Just thinking about her dirty lady parts makes her so sad looking and then presto! One little spray with the Clean and Dry Intimate wash and her whole life is changed forever! It even makes Metro-Sexual Man happy! smile

    P.S. I’ve never drank airplane fuel but me and my Navy buddies tried to make homemade wine on a submarine. We didn’t know how much yeast to put in 3 gallons of grape juice so we thought a cup was about right.

    Turns out it’s not.

    We drank it anyway…

  • Kool Aid

    It made me laugh out loud…. no kool aid though. I wasn’t drinking anything, but I was still kinda hopeful. I haven’t really had anything shoot outta my nose like that since the 7th grade. I think it was Hi-C actually.

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