My Arms Are Bare

You cannot imagine how gruesome this training business is. There I was, at, thinking I could record a few videos on the upcoming Photoshop Touch apps (which Adobe will release next month). The apps run on an iPad, which means my fingers will be up-close-and-personal on the screen. So one of my directors takes me aside and says, “You know, you’re going to be a hand model now. Which means you need a manicure. And maybe a pedicure, just to be safe.”

Then she adds, as if to delight my intrigue, “Oh, and BTW, you have to shave your hands.”

This last one surprised me. I mean, first, are we as a group officially acknowledging that I have hairy chimpanzee appendages? And second, do I honestly have to shave my wrists, hands, and knuckles? The answer: Oh yeah, baby. The outcome of which appears below.

My very own waxed apeboy arm

Do you see that transition? From my natural happy-primate hair to the strangely troglodyte smooth skin? Isn’t it peculiar? I txt’ed a friend of mine that I felt like a bald cat. She responded, “Better: shaved pussy.” Same diff I guess.

You’ll be happy to know: I didn’t actually shave. I let the salon woman wax me. (Which was moderately thrilling, truth be told.) Later, I trimmed my arm hairs for a more natural transition.

But I’m so cold. And I can’t stop fondling my tingly skin. Believe me, it’s more than you want to know.

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  • Ex hairy arms

    Nigel Worwood - Graphics Ham

    Maybe this is the time to ask you to stick to Photoshop. These intimate details are putting me off my breakfast!

  • You would think ...

    ...that with all your Photoshop skills you would be able to Photoshop out all the hair in post?

  • Your agent called…

    they canceled your cameo in the new Planet of the Apes movie ;)

  • My Arms Are Bare

    Oh Lord, put a glove on it! lol

  • Humorously, I softened the transitions

    The old fashioned way: with a trimmer. I clipped the early hairs at 1, the later ones at 3, and so forth. Now I have a reasonably organic build-up of hairs, assuming of course that I’m some strange breed of metrosexual video-cyborg.

    Which I now am. Fortunately, today, we recorded an entire short-course of wicked-excellent iPad videos. And they’re going to look better than anything you ever did see. Stay tuned.

    Meanwhile, when the hairs start to grow back, and the itchy-scratchy bumps begin to develop, I can look back at my body of work and think: “Hmm, that was one dumb-ass idea.”

  • Distracted

    I am going to be so” humorously” distracted now when I watch those training videos!

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